Day 0 of 100-Day Language Learning Challenge – Japanese

This is my plan to complete the 100 Day Language Learning Challenge

Watashi wa Amerikajin desu.

Am I allowed to say I hate being American? Not that I hate being from America specifically, just that I cringe whenever I realize I’ve spent a good chunk of my life buying into those embarrassingly narrow American stereotypes.

What stereotypes, you ask? You know exactly the ones: thinking America is the unquestionable “greatest country in the world” (spoiler: it’s not), insisting people who move here “better learn English,” and believing geography class was optional. Let’s not even dive into the obsession with the 2nd amendment—because nothing says freedom like regularly scheduled school shootings. And tyranny? Yeah, we’ll definitely need all those guns for when the tyrant we just elected finally gets around to oppressing us.

To be clear, I’m not actively packing my bags just yet, but keeping an exit strategy handy seems increasingly wise. Let’s face it: America’s looking like the friend you don’t invite to parties anymore because they embarrass you.

Why Japanese, though? Good question.

First off, I lived in Japan for three years as an ignorant gaijin and, regrettably, learned next to no Japanese. It’s never too late for redemption, right? Plus, I’m genuinely enamored with Japan—the culture, the food, the unmatched politeness, and especially the way no one is screaming about freedom while waving firearms around.

Secondly, I run a Pokémon Trading Card business called PokeUnited.com with my Wife. We specialize in selling Japanese Pokémon cards. Ever heard of a rip and ship? Essentially, strangers online pay me to open Pokémon packs live—sounds weirdly satisfying, right?

But here’s the catch: I can’t read Japanese cards, and relying on memorization is like playing linguistic Russian roulette in front of a live audience. My customers correcting me mid-stream isn’t just embarrassing; it’s a daily reminder that ignorance isn’t bliss—it’s just laziness.

Are there easier languages I could pick up instead? Absolutely.

But this isn’t the “100-Day Easy-Mode Language Challenge.” Easy is boring, and transformative experiences don’t come from comfort zones. Besides, struggling with a new alphabet and grammar structure is half the adventure. Or the madness. Either way, it won’t be dull.

How am I going to hold myself accountable?

Aside from airing my dirty laundry here publicly, I’m committing to:

• Keeping a 100-day streak on Duolingo, even if it’s just 3 minutes a day. Follow my humble bragging here: [My Duolingo Profile]
• Completing 90+ Pimsleur audio lessons, aiming for 80%+ speech accuracy. I’ll be multitasking these with my simultaneous “Stop Being a Fat-Ass” challenge workouts.
• Memorizing Hiragana/Katakana/Kanji flashcards, because apparently, letters can have identity crises too.
• Recording a YouTube video at the end to shamelessly flaunt (or hilariously butcher) my newfound Japanese skills.

My toolkit includes:

• Flashcards with rings (like school again, yay…)
• “Katakana for Kids” and “Hiragana for Kids” workbooks—because humility builds character
• pimsleur.com (because pretending someone is speaking to me makes cardio bearable)
• duolingo.com (the friendly green owl that subtly threatens you to keep your streak alive)

Daily Routine:

• Sweat it out to Pimsleur daily lessons
• Duolingo lessons daily, because owl pressure is real
• Blog updates filled with self-aware snark and progress

Kick-off Date:

April 1st, 2025—no, this isn’t an April Fool’s joke, though watching me struggle might feel like one.