Ever wake up feeling like motivation filed a restraining order against you? Yeah, same. Welcome to Day 11 of my “100 Days of Not Being a Fat Ass” challenge—where I continue dragging my increasingly smaller ass through mental thunderstorms, actual rain, and an unholy craving for gravy.
🍕 I Blew My Calorie Load by 3 PM (Again)
Let’s start with the obvious: Semaglutide is not Willy Wonka wizardry. I ate all my calories by mid-afternoon like a feral raccoon who just discovered a Costco dumpster. And there I was at 9 PM, staring at the ceiling, stomach growling, wondering how many calories are in regret. I’m still hungry af, all the time.
Lesson: If you’re relying on a miracle drug and still housing food like it’s Thanksgiving every day, maybe the problem isn’t your metabolism—it’s your fork-holding meat mitts. Plan better.
🇯🇵 Groundhog Day: Nihongo Edition
Attempt #3 at Lesson 8 of Pimsleur Japanese. At this point, I could recite it in my sleep. I finally passed it, but I swear if I hear “watashi no okiniri no restaran de” (at my favorite restaurant) one more time, I’m eating my headphones.
Lesson: Repetition sucks—until it doesn’t. Mastery is mostly about being too stubborn to quit. Be annoying. Be relentless. Be that person.
🔥 The Roast Heard Round Twitter
This morning, my so-called “friends” on Twitter Spaces lit me up like a Yankee Candle. I was told, and I quote, “you’re gonna die fat and slow if you don’t move,” (I’m exaggerating) which was exactly the gentle encouragement I needed to sweat for 30 minutes like I was escaping a fire. Thanks, guys. No really.
Lesson: Get people who will lovingly bully you into greatness. You don’t need yes-men. You need roast-beasts.
👩⚕️ Audrey’s Sleepless Binge & Job Stress Reality Check
Audrey stayed up watching The Residence until 4 AM like a college freshman with no responsibilities and all the Red Bull. Then she woke up to job uncertainty—because why not add some existential dread to our already high-stakes life reboot?
But here’s the kicker: she hugged me yesterday and paused. Like, actually paused. Then said, “I can wrap my arms around you.”
Queue the emotional fireworks. I almost cried. Then I flexed. Obviously.
Lesson: The scale is a liar. Inches tell the truth. When your partner’s arms finally meet in the back, it’s not just about weight—it’s about momentum.
🥞 Operation: Survive the Flying Biscuit
Tomorrow, I enter the heart of darkness: The Flying Biscuit Café. Where carbs flow like wine, and moderation goes to die. But I’ve got a plan—look up the menu, make a choice ahead of time, and try not to cry when my kids order pancakes the size of manhole covers.
Lesson: Restaurants don’t ruin diets—your dumbass choices at restaurants do. Go in with a game plan or get buried in gravy.
🇺🇸 Political Panic Attacks & Doomscroll Detox
Every time I open Twitter, I’m one headline away from building a bunker out of protein bar wrappers. But you know what helps? Not giving my goals away to chaos. If the world burns, at least I’ll be shredded when it does.
Lesson: Stop rage-refreshing the news and go lift something heavy. Control your controllables. Panic burns zero calories.
🛡️ The Rain Ruined My Walk and My Kids Hate Me
It rained. We didn’t walk. The kids were crushed. Queue the dad guilt. But you know what? One missed walk isn’t a collapse. It’s a pause. And you better believe I’ll be back out there tonight—umbrella in hand if I have to. I still did my 30 minutes of Japanese cardio yesterday morning so its not a total failure.
Lesson: One bad day doesn’t undo 10 good ones. Don’t let weather—or whining—derail momentum.
📚 Book Plug That Won’t Rot Your Brain
If you’re ready to understand what the hell is going on inside your body when you snack like a toddler at a birthday party, grab “Why We Get Sick” by Dr. Benjamin Bikman. It’ll slap you in the insulin receptors and explain why your 3 PM Dorito crash isn’t just about willpower—it’s biology.
💥 The Real Takeaway (AKA Why This Crap Matters)
You don’t need perfect days. You need stacked good-enough ones. Day 11 wasn’t a masterpiece—it was a fight. But every inch lost, every skipped biscuit, and every Japanese lesson I don’t botch is one step closer to not being the same damn person I was two weeks ago.
So here’s the deal:
Get people who roast you. Track your wins. Eat smarter. Move anyway.
And when your partner can finally wrap their arms around you—that’s the moment it all makes sense.
Feeling that itch to change too? Great.
Come roast with us at RewiredWithDrew.com or crawl out of lurk mode and join the Discord.
Let’s suffer together—but like, in a productive, hot-person-in-the-making kind of way.
Drew Karriker is a self-proclaimed professional tinkerer, self-experimentation enthusiast, and lifelong learner with an inability to sit still. A former nuclear engineer turned DevOps architect, he’s built a career (and a life) out of breaking things, fixing them, and then making them better.
Despite wrestling with ADHD, anxiety, and an unrelenting need to optimize everything, he transformed his career and life in just a few years—not because he’s special, but because he figured out how to turn obsession into execution. Now, he’s doing it again—publicly—one 100-day challenge at a time.
His past projects? Some were successes. Some flopped spectacularly. Each one left him a little wiser (and probably a little more caffeinated). Now, he’s on a mission to document his transformation—mind, body, career, and everything in between—so that others might pick up a thing or two along the way. Or at the very least, be entertained by the chaos.
Follow along at RewiredWithDrew.com and get inspired, get motivated, or just grab some popcorn and enjoy the ride.